Baby Mania

I have entered this stage in life called “All your friends are having babies”. It came a little sooner than I had anticipated, since the “All your friends are getting married” stage is still in full swing. And I am a little like, “Hey can you guys wait until the rest of us get married? Like, let us catch up before you move forward. Are we all sure we are ready for this???” But alas, the babies are coming one after the other. There is no stopping these babies.

This new stage means learning baby etiquette. Similar to wedding etiquette, there is this whole set of rules about what is polite and what is expected when it comes to expectant parents. I will let you in on what I have learned so far:

Baby Etiquette

It starts with The Announcement – you can’t tell anyone you are preggers until you are through your first trimester. And when a friend tells you that they are indeed prego, keep it to yourself, cuz you don’t want to be ruining the surprise for anyone else. But its hard, cuz you are really excited too!!! And secrets are hard to keep… but don’t do it - keep a straight face and wait your turn.

Next, it’s the Showers. This one is similar to weddings; RSVP in a timely manner, offer to bring something, stick to the registry and no one gets hurt. Also if there are games involved, be a good sport, you may even get a prize. It may be baby themed prize, but hey, free stuff, no complaining – just eat your cake and muster as much enthusiasm as you can over baby gifts.

The Waiting Game. You are getting close to the big day. Be sure to check in on your friend and offer to help with whatever they need. They are likely uncomfortable and stuck in the house with no alcohol privileges, so don’t be bragging about your social life. Also, don’t take pictures of expectant Moms without permission. And tread lightly – these women could burst at any second.

The Delivery. You don’t have to do much here. Unless you are a very close friend you aren’t expected to go to the hospital. Just wait for texts and updates and spread the news. Offer your congratulations and be thankful everyone is healthy and has survived the messy miracle of birth.

Meeting the Baby. Offer to bring your friend dinner (more on this below) or wait to be invited to meet the baby. Once invited, make sure you are not sick (if you are sick, politely decline) and be sure you are as clean as possible. Prepare yourself to ooh and ahhh and remark on how cute the baby is and how much you like the name. Again, keep your real opinions to yourself and no one gets hurt. Ask general questions about the delivery, but don’t dig too deep here, you probably don’t want to know the answers.

Success – baby etiquette has ended. Enjoy having a baby in your life that won’t keep you up at night. Now you can return to treating these friends like normal - if you ever see them again.

But lets return to the post-baby dinner delivery. My friend Hannah and I were discussing this over the weekend because we both have dinners to deliver this week. Hannah text her sister (mother of 3) to ask what is the best food to eat when you are breast feeding? The answer: Fish. So we asked, what is second best? The answer: Broccoli. Ok, broccoli I am a little more comfortable delivering to someone’s house. But I asked my friend Jessica (mother of 2) and she said broccoli could give the baby gas (which equals crying and no sleeping for Mama) so, not too much broccoli. Jessica suggested anything bland, reiterated that fish is good, and no garlic. And also deliver the dish in something disposable. This is getting complicated…

Here is what I have decided upon – Chicken Divan. A simple, fairly bland recipe that involves some broccoli, some protein (chicken or turkey and I suppose you could use fish if you are sure the mother would enjoy it), and no garlic. It calls for a 12x8” pan, but I split it between two 8x8” disposable pans so they can eat one and freeze the other. I am going to deliver both without baking, but with directions attached to each to bake at 350 for approximately 30 minutes so they can enjoy it fresh and warm ( I have been assured this is appropriate). Phew! – this baby stuff is crazy!

Chicken Divan

2 tablespoons butter or margarine

3 tablespoons flour

2 teaspoons chicken bouillon

2 cups milk

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

2 boxes (9 oz. each) frozen broccoli

3 cups cubed chicken or turkey (I poached 2 breasts and 2 thighs)

1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Toppping:

1 tablespoon butter or margarine

1/3 cup bread crumbs

1. Heat oven to 350°F. In 2-quart saucepan, melt 2 tablespoons butter over medium heat. Stir in flour and bouillon granules. Gradually stir in milk, cooking and stirring constantly with wire whisk, until mixture boils and thickens. Stir in mayonnaise and mustard until well blended.

2. In an ungreased 12x8-inch (2-quart) glass baking dish, arrange broccoli spears. Top with chicken. Spoon sauce over chicken. Sprinkle with cheese.

3. In small bowl, mix topping ingredients; sprinkle over top. Bake about 30 minutes or until thoroughly heated.

You Most Watch This

If you haven't seen Jamie Oliver's TED presentation, you must watch this video. And if you can't watch it, read the transcript below. And then lets talk about starting a Food Revolution here in Cleveland. I have some ideas. And we need to get started.

Sadly, in the next 18 minutes when I do our chat, four Americans that are alive will be dead from the food that they eat.

My name's Jamie Oliver. I'm 34 years old. I'm from Essex in England and for the last seven years I've worked fairly tirelessly to save lives in my own way.I'm not a doctor. I'm a chef; I don't have expensive equipment or medicine. I use information, education.

I profoundly believe that the power of food has a primal place in our homes that binds us to the best bits of life. We have an awful, awful reality right now. America, you're at the top of your game. This is one of the most unhealthy countries in the world.

Can I please just see a raise of hands for how many of you have children in this room today? Please put your hands up. Aunties, uncles, you can continue ... Put your hands up. Aunties and uncles as well. Most of you. OK. We, the adults of the last four generations, have blessed our children with the destinyof a shorter lifespan than their own parents. Your child will live a life ten years younger than you because of the landscape of food that we've built around them. Two thirds of this room, today, in America, are statistically overweight or obese. You lot, you're all right, but we'll get you eventually, don't worry.

(Laughter)

Right? The statistics of bad health are clear, very clear. We spend our lives being paranoid about death, murder, homicide, you name it. It's on the front page of every paper, CNN. Look at homicide at the bottom, for God's sake. Right?

(Laughter)

(Applause)

Every single one of those in the red is a diet-related disease. Any doctor, any specialist will tell you that. Fact. Diet-related disease is the biggest killer in the United States, right now, here today. This is a global problem. It's a catastrophe. It's sweeping the world. England is right behind you, as usual.

(Laughter)

I know they were close, but not that close. We need a revolution. Mexico, Australia, Germany, India, China, all have massive problems of obesity and bad health. Think about smoking. It costs way less than obesity now. Obesity costs you Americans 10 percent of your health care bills. 150 billion dollars a year. In 10 years, it's set to double. 300 billion dollars a year. And let's be honest, guys, you ain't got that cash.

(Laughter)

I came here to start a food revolution that I so profoundly believe in. We need it. The time is now. We're in a tipping-point moment. I've been doing this for seven years. I've been trying in America for seven years. Now is the time when it's ripe -- ripe for the picking. I went to the eye of the storm. I went to West Virginia, the most unhealthy state in America. Or it was last year. We've got a new one this year, but we'll work on that next season.

(Laughter)

Huntington, West Virginia. Beautiful town. I wanted to put heart and soul and people, your public, around the statistics that we've become so used to. I want to introduce you to some of the people that I care about. Your public. Your children. I want to show a picture of my friend Brittany. She's 16 years old. She's got six years to live because of the food that she's eaten. She's the third generation of Americans that hasn't grown up within a food environment where they've been taught to cook at home or in school, or her mom, or her mom's mom. She has six years to live. She's eating her liver to death.

Stacy, the Edwards family. This is a normal family, guys. Stacy does her best, but she's third-generation as well; she was never taught to cook at home or in school. The family's obese. Justin, here, 12 years old. He's 350 pounds. He gets bullied, for God's sake. The daughter there, Katie, she's four years old.She's obese before she even gets to primary school. Marissa. She's all right. She's one of your lot. But you know what? Her father, who was obese, died in her arms. And then the second-most-important man in her life, her uncle, died of obesity. And now her step-dad is obese. You see, the thing is obesity and diet-related disease doesn't just hurt the people that have it; it's all of their friends, families, brothers, sisters.

Pastor Steve. An inspirational man. One of my early allies in Huntington, West Virginia. He's at the sharp knife-edge of this problem. He has to bury the people, OK? And he's fed up with it. He's fed up with burying his friends, and his family, his community. Come winter, three times as many people die.He's sick of it. This is preventable disease. Waste of life. By the way, this is what they get buried in. We're not geared up to do this. Can't even get them out the door, and I'm being serious. Can't even get them there. Forklift.

OK, I see it as a triangle, OK? This is our landscape of food. I need you to understand it. You've probably heard all this before, but let's just go back over it. Over the last 30 years, what's happened that's ripped the heart out of this country? Let's be frank and honest. Well. Modern-day life.

Let's start with the Main Street. Fast food has taken over the whole country. We know that. The big brands are some of the most important powers,powerful powers in this country. Supermarkets as well. Big companies. Big companies. 30 years ago, most of the food was largely local and largely fresh.Now it's largely processed and full of all sorts of additives, extra ingredients, and you know the rest of the story. Portion size is obviously a massive, massive problem. Labeling is a massive problem. The labeling in this country is a disgrace. They want to be self ... They want to self-police themselves.The industry wants to self-police themselves. What, in this kind of climate? They don't deserve it. How can you say something is low-fat when it's full of so much sugar?

Home. The biggest problem with the home is that used to be the heart of passing on food and food culture, what made our society. That isn't happening anymore. And you know, as we go to work and as life changes, and as life always evolves, we kind of have to look at it holistically -- step back for a moment, and re-address the balance. It ain't happening. Hasn't happened for 30 years. I want to show you a situation that is very normal right now. The Edwards family.

(Video) Jamie Oliver: Let's have a talk. This stuff goes through you and your family's body every week. And I need you to know that this is going to kill your children early. How are you feeling?

Stacy: Just feeling really sad and depressed right now. But, you know, I want my kids to succeed in life and this isn't going to get them there. But I'm killing them.

JO: Yes you are. You are. But we can stop that. Normal. Let's get onto schools, something that I'm fairly much a specialist in. OK. School. What is school? Who invented it? What's the purpose of school? School was always invented to arm us with the tools to make us creative, do wonderful things, make us earn a living, etc., etc., etc. You know, it's been kind of in this sort of tight box for a long, long time. OK? But we haven't really evolved it to deal with the health catastrophes of America, OK? School food is something that most kids -- 31 million a day, actually -- have twice a day, more than often, breakfast and lunch, 180 days of the year. So you could say that school food is quite important, really, judging the circumstances.

(Laughter)

Before I crack into my rant, which I'm sure you're waiting for ...

(Laughter)

I need to say one thing, and it's so important in hopefully the magic that happens and unfolds in the next three months. The lunch ladies, the lunch cooks of America ... I offer myself as their ambassador. I'm not slacking them off. They're doing the best they can do. They're doing their best. But they're doing what they're told, and what they're being told to do is wrong. The system is highly run by accountants. There's not enough, or any, food-knowledgeable people in the business. There's a problem. If you're not a food expert, and you've got tight budgets, and it's getting tighter, then you can't be creative, you can't duck and dive and write different things around things. If you're an accountant, and a box-ticker, the only thing you can do in these circumstances is buy cheaper shit.

Now, the reality is, the food that your kids get every day is fast food, it's highly processed, there's not enough fresh food in there at all. You know, the amount of additives, E numbers, ingredients you wouldn't believe ... There's not enough veggies at all. French fries are considered a vegetable. Pizza for breakfast. They don't even get given crockery. Knives and forks? No, they're too dangerous. They have scissors in the class room but knives and forks, no.And the way I look at it is, if you don't have knives and forks in your school, you're purely endorsing, from a state level, fast food. Because it's handheld.And yes, by the way, it is fast food. It's sloppy joes, it's burgers, it's wieners, it's pizzas, it's all of that stuff. 10 percent of what we spend on healthcare, as I said earlier, is on obesity. And it's going to double. We're not teaching our kids. There is no statutory right to teach kids about food, elementary or secondary school. OK? We don't teach kids about food. Right? And this is a little clip from an elementary school, which is very common in England.

Video: Who knows what this is?

Child: Potatoes. Jamie Oliver: Potato? So, you think these are potatoes? Do you know what that is? Do you know what that is? Child: Broccoli?

JO: What about this? Our good old friend. Do you know what this is honey? Child: Celery.

JO: No. What do you think this is? Child: Onion. JO: Onion? No.

Jamie Oliver: Immediately you get a really clear sense of do the kids know anything about where food comes from.

Video: JO: Who knows what that is? Child: Uh, pear. JO: What do you think this is? Child: I don't know. JO: If the kids don't know what stuff is, then they'd never eat it.

(Laughter)

JO: Normal. England and America, England and America. Guess what fixed that. Guess what fixed that. Two one-hour sessions. We've got to start teaching our kids about food in schools, period.

(Applause)

I want to tell you about something, I want to tell you about something that kind of epitomizes the trouble that we're in guys. OK? I want to talk about something so basic as milk. Every kid has the right to milk at school. Your kids will be having milk at school, breakfast and lunch. Right? They'll be having two bottles. Okay? And most kids do. But milk ain't good enough anymore. Because someone at the milk board, right -- and don't get me wrong, I support milk, but someone on the milk board, probably paid a lot of money for some geezer to work out that if you put loads of flavorings and coloringsand sugar in milk, right, more kids will drink it. Yeah.

(Claps)

And obviously now that's going to catch on. The apple board is going to work out that if they make toffee apples they'll eat more apples as well. Do you know what I mean? For me, there ain't no need to flavor the milk. Okay? There is sugar in everything. I know the ins and outs of those ingredients. It's in everything. Even the milk hasn't escaped the kind of modern day problems. There's our milk. There's our carton. In that is nearly as much sugar as one of your favorite cans of fizzy pop. And they are having two a day. So, let me just show you. We've got one kid, here, having, you know, eight tablespoons of sugar a day. You know, there's your week. There's your month. And I've taken the liberty of putting in just the five years of elementary school sugar, just from milk. Now, I don't know about you guys, but judging the circumstances, right, any judge in the whole world, would look at the statistics and the evidence, and they would find any government of old guilty of child abuse. That's my belief.

(Applause)

Now, if I came up here, and I wish I could come up here today, and hang a cure for AIDS or cancer, you'd be fighting and scrambling to get to me. This, all this bad news, is preventable. That's the good news. It's very very preventable. So, let's just think about, we got a problem here, we need to reboot. Okay so, in my world what do we need to do? Here is the thing, right. It can not just come from one source. To reboot and make real tangible change, real change, so that I could look you in the white of the eyes and say, "In 10 years time, the history of your children's lives, happiness -- and let's not forget, you're clever if you eat well, you know you're going to live longer, all of that stuff, it will look different. OK?"

So, supermarkets. Where else do you shop so religiously? Week in, week out. How much money do you spend, in your life, in a supermarket? Love them. They just sell us what we want. All right. They owe us, to put a food ambassador in every major supermarket. They need to help us shop. They need to show us how to cook, quick, tasty, seasonal meals for people that are busy. This is not expensive. It is done in some. And it needs to be done across the board in America soon, and quick. The big brands, you know, the food brands, need to put food education at the heart of their businesses. I know, easier said than done. It's the future. It's the only way.

Fast food. With the fast food industry you know, it's very competitive. I've had loads of secret papers and dealings with fast food restaurants. I know how they do it. I mean basically they've weaned us on to these hits of sugar, salt and fat, and x, y, and z. And everyone loves them. Right? So, these guys are going to be part of the solution. But we need to get the government to work with all of the fast food purveyors and the restaurant industry. And over a five, six, seven year period wean of us off the extreme amounts of fat, sugar, fat and all the other non-food ingredients.

Now, also, back to the sort of big brands, labeling, I said earlier, is an absolute farce, and has got to be sorted. OK, school. Obviously in schools we owe it to them to make sure those 180 days of the year, from that little precious age of four, til 18, 20, 24, whatever, they need to be cooked proper fresh foodfrom local growers on site. OK? There needs to be a new standard of fresh proper food for your children. Yeah?

(Applause)

Under the circumstances, it's profoundly important that every single American child leaves school knowing how to cook 10 recipes that will save their life.Life skills.

(Applause)

That means that they can be students, young parents, and be able to sort of duck and dive around the basics of cooking, no matter what recession hits them next time. If you can cook recession money doesn't matter. If you can cook, time doesn't matter. The workplace. We hadn't really talked about it.You know, it's now time for corporate responsibility to really look at what they feed or make available to their staff. The staff are the moms and dads of America's children. Marissa, her father died in her hand, I think she'd be quite happy if corporate America could start feeding their staff properly.Definitely they shouldn't be left out. Let's go back to the home.

Now, look, if we do all this stuff, and we can, it's so achievable. You can care and be commercial. Absolutely. But the home needs to start passing oncooking again, for sure. For sure, pass it on as a philosophy. And for me it's quite romantic. But it's about if one person teaches three people how to cook something, and now they teach three of their mates, that only has to repeat itself 25 times, and that's the whole population of America. Romantic, yes, but, most importantly, it's about trying to get people to realize that every one of your individual efforts makes a difference. We've got to put back what's been lost. Huntington Kitchen. Huntington, where I made this program, you know, we've got this prime time program that hopefully will inspire people to really get on this change. I truly believe that change will happen. Huntington's Kitchen. I work with a community. I worked in the schools. I found local sustainable funding to get every single school in the area, from the junk, onto the fresh food. Six-and-a-half grand per school.

(Applause)

That's all it takes. Six-and-a-half grand per school. The Kitchen in 25 grand a month. Okay? This can do 5,000 people a year, which is 10 percent of their population. And it's people on people. You know, it's local cooks teaching local people. It's free cooking lessons guys, free cooking lessons in the main street. This is real, tangible change, real, tangible change. Around America, if we just look back now, there is plenty of wonderful things going on. There is plenty of beautiful things going on. There are angels around America doing great things in schools, farm to school set-ups, garden set-ups, education.There are amazing people doing this already. The problem is they all want to roll out what their doing to the next school, and the next. But there is no cash. We need to recognize the experts and the angels quickly, identify them, and allow them to easily find the resource to keep rolling out what they're already doing, and doing well. Businesses of America need to support Mrs. Obama to do the things that she wants to do.

(Applause)

And look, I know it's weird having an English person standing here before you talking about all this. All I can say is I care. I'm a father. And I love this country. And I believe truly, actually, that if change can be made in this country, beautiful things will happen around the world. If America does it I believe other people will follow. It's incredibly important.

(Applause)

When I was in Huntington, trying to get a few things to work when they weren't, I though if I had a magic wand what would I do? And I thought, you know what? I'd just love to be put in front of some of the most amazing movers and shakers in America. And a month later TED phoned me up and gave me this award. I'm here. So, my wish. Dyslexic, so I'm a bit slow. My wish is for you to help a strong sustainable movement to educate every child about food, to inspire families to cook again, and to empower people everywhere to fight obesity.

(Applause)

Thank you.

(Applause)

Heavenly Hots

On Sunday I had brunch at my house with two of my best friends, Hannah and Rachael, to celebrate 21 years of friendship. Considering I am turning 27 this week, pretty much as long as I can remember, these two have been with me. I am so lucky to have them!

Good old friends!

I had pulled this recipe out of the NYT a few weeks back and thought this would be the perfect occasion to try it. The results were true to their name. We tried them with maple syrup, honey, and sprinkled with lemon juice and sugar, but they were amazing just on their own.

1987: Heavenly Hots

Published courtesy of the New York Times: January 14, 2010

This recipe appeared in The Times in an article by Joanna Pruess. The recipe came from Bridge Creek Restaurant in Berkeley, Calif. A few tips: Don’t cook the pancakes all the way through. You want the center to be a pocket of cream. The pancakes are so fragile that it may take a few tries to flip them. I used the thinnest, most flexible spatula I own, wedged it halfway under the pancake, letting the other half hang, then turned my wrist and gently laid it down on the other side. I recommend this over more aggressive flipping, which will tear the pancakes.

Heavenly Hots

4 large eggs

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

4 tablespoons cake flour

2 cups sour cream

3 tablespoons sugar

Solid vegetable shortening for greasing griddle or skillet.

1. Whisk together all the ingredients except the vegetable shortening in a large bowl; beat until smooth. This can also be done in a blender. Chill the batter overnight. (The batter will keep, refrigerated, for up to one week.)

2. The next day, heat the griddle or skillet over medium-high heat. Beat the batter to re-emulsify it. Lightly coat the griddle or skillet with shortening. Drop small spoonfuls — I used ¾ tablespoon — of batter onto the griddle, making sure that when they spread out they measure less than 3 inches in diameter. When a few bubbles appear on top of the pancakes and the bottoms are browned, turn and cook the second side briefly. (You don’t want to cook the pancakes all the way through because you want the center to remain creamy.) Serve with syrup or honey on the side. Makes 50 to 60 small pancakes.

Better Butter

Growing up I realized early on that the food in my house was very different than the other houses in our small town. This was before Heinen’s had moved to town and before Giant Eagle had an organics section. My mom was in a food co-op that would order all the health foods and exotic ingredients that are easy to find in grocery stores today. The co-op met at a local town hall to unload the truck. I don’t know exactly how the whole process worked, I just know the place had a very distinctive smell and we were left to play in the basement with all the home school kids while the grown-ups divvied up the food. And we came home with crazy foods; brown foods with words like “natural” and “organic” all over them and produce that wasn’t waxed.

I thought we were such freaks. I loved going to friends’ houses and eating Skippy peanut butter on white bread and cheetos for lunch. We were totally deprived of all the processed sugar and foods that were being marketed to us on Nickelodeon. Fruit snacks. Frosted Flakes. Slim Jims. Not in our house.

Looking back I wish I would have appreciated it more. This is totally the way I eat now, but at the time it was torture. My taste buds were very different back then – I didn’t like cheese, eggs, potatoes, tomatoes, yogurt, beans or most veggies. Today these foods constitute like 90% of my diet. But my mom was persistent and our family dinners turned me into the food adventurer I am today.

One thing that was always different was our butter. Ours was in an old jelly jar and we called it “better butter”. I would forget this was different until a friend would come over after school and when we fixed some toast for a snack they would look at me like “I’m supposed to do what with this?” when I handed them the jar of butter. I suppose this isn’t really too weird compared to other stuff we were eating. And I’m not sure how much “better” this butter actually is for you. But I grew up on it, so to me, this is what butter on toast or mixed in basmati rice should taste like.

Ready for me to blow your mind? Here is the super complicated recipe for Better Butter:

Equal parts butter and oil.

Boom. You’re welcome.

So when you are diluting butter with oil I’m not sure exactly how much healthier you are making the situation, but the whole spreadable thing is nice. To elaborate on the recipe a bit, the way my mom makes it is just to leave the butter on the counter until it is nice and soft. Then put in the food processor with equal parts oil (whatever kind, I use canola cuz it is cheaper, but olive oil would be lovely and probably healthier) and combine. Then pour into a container and refrigerate. It will harden to a more butter like consistency, but it is much easier to spread than regular butter straight out of the fridge. And it melts into a more oily spread that I prefer.

I have some exciting news about the basement kitchen that I have been keeping from you – we got a fridge!!!! My parents are remodeling their kitchen and decided they wanted a counter depth refrigerator, so we got their old one for the basement. It is wonderful to have it down there. It has an ice maker! Major bonus for ice cream making. And I was running up and down the stairs constantly, which was good for my glutes, but annoying in the middle of making dinner. My mom’s fridge just felt empty without the jar of better butter in there. So I made a batch with some local butter from the farmers market. It’s not from a food co-op, but its close.

Oh yeah, oh yeah

Cheering Up February

If the display at Heinen's is any indication, we are in the peak of citrus season. I would have let it pass me by and just picked up my usual 5 navel oranges, but there was so much orange filling the shelves that I had to take a minute to look around. There were signs up with a description of each fruit's flavor and venturing out of my comfort zone I picked up 3 Cara Cara navel oranges (only 1 made it long enough to be in the pic below), 4 blood oranges, 3 honey tangerines, and meyer lemons. Sometimes you just have to indulge in citrus.


Speaking of indulgences, I got two fun presents in the mail yesterday. The first was a giant box from Zappos with these Sorel boots. They were on sale and considering how HAPPY I am in Cleveland, I know they will get plenty of use around here. I had been on this quest for rubber wellie boots and even ordered these Hunters, but they didn't fit my "athletic" calves. These Sorel boots are much more flexible and still water-proof, so no rubber for me. Just in time for another winter storm warning.


My second present was the first issue of my subscription to Gastronomica. My aunt and uncle gave me some money for Christmas and I decided to use it to subscribe to this beautiful magazine. I had kind of forgot about it and then I found this lovely in my mailbox.

A Tale of Cooking: In 3 Parts

Part 1. My Big Fat Southern Pigskin Super Bowl Party

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ~Doug Larson

Superbowl Sunday. I don’t care much about the game, but an excuse to cook a meal centered completely on pork is a holiday in my book.

A pigskin theme party needs lots of bacon, so to start things off I made chorizo stuffed dates wrapped in bacon. I use this recipe from Cleveland Foodie, but I no longer make the sauce cuz I find that people don't use it and there is plenty of flavor in the appe's three ingredients. These are ALWAYS a hit and added bonus, they are shaped like little footballs with toothpicks stuck through them.

I wanted to keep the main course fairly simple. I used this recipe from the Splendid Table for the Ultimate Cheater Pulled Pork. The “cheating” is using liquid smoke to mimic the flavors of a smoke house. I bought my 5 pound pork butt from the Westside Market. You should try this recipe mostly cuz it is fun to say pork butt. The pork butt is chopped into chunks, placed in the crock pot, sprinkled with a rub and the secret ingredient - liquid smoke (surprisingly easy to find, right next to the BBQ sauce at Heinen's for $1.79), and set on low to cook overnight. Twelve hours later I woke to the sweet smells of smoky pork that had filled the house. So yeah, I’m kind of a big deal, I can cook while I sleep.

In the morning I took the pork chunks out and placed them on a baking sheet to cool. I poured the leftover juices from the crock pot into a cup and placed them in the fridge. Once the pork was cooled enough to handle, I began pulling it apart with my hands. Little know fact - food always tastes better when someone’s hands have been all over it. I threw out any fatty pieces, but mostly it was steaming pink shreds of yummy smokey goodness. Place it back in the crock pot and in the fridge until game time.

By the time we were close to kick-off, the leftover juices in the cup in the fridge had separated enough that I could skim the neon layer of orange fat off the top and throw it out. I took the pork out of the fridge and set the crock pot back to warm along with some of the now skimmed juices. The rest of the juice I mixed with some store bought BBQ sauce and warmed it up to serve with the pork on rolls. This pork is a crowd pleaser – if cheating is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

I couldn't leave bacon out of the dessert. Last year I saw an episode of Throw Down with Bobby Flay about bacon desserts. Bobby lost (Spoiler alert – Bobby always loses on Throw Down) to this recipe for bread pudding with a bacon creme anglaise (which I also really love saying) from Chef Jerome Chang of New York City's Dessert Truck.

Sidenote: I want to start this dessert truck phenom in Cleveland, we are missing out on convenient sugar!

Bread Pudding (before the Bacon Creme Anglaise)

Ok, so this recipe uses 10 egg yolks, 4 slices of bacon, 3 cups of heavy cream, and 2 cups of half & half, so it really should only be made once a year for the fattiest of feasts. But my goodness it is delicious. I made the creme anglaise on Saturday and the bread pudding on Sunday. The bacon flavor is very subtle and the final product was rich and chocolately and very decadent. And you get to say crème anglaise.

Keeping with the southern theme of the party I also served coleslaw and sweet tea vodka with lemonade. Friends pitched in with guacamole and lots of desserts. It was a wonderful Sunday night feast!! Oh and there was a football game, too, score!

Part II. Adventures in Ice Cream Making

My family came over after work on Friday night for dinner before heading over to JCU to see Seth Myers from SNL perform a comedy show. My whole fam is pretty into SNL and the show was hilarious. The funniest bits were his off the cuff audience interactions, asking couples how they met and the craziest thing they ever bought on e-Bay has never been so funny.

My house isn’t too far from JCU, so I offered to fix a quick dinner before the show. I made Turkey and Hominy Chili with Smoky Chipotle the night before so it could just be quickly re-heated after work. It was spicy and excellent with a dollop of sour cream to cool it, some shredded cheddar and a bit of fresh cilantro. I also made two quick side breads from mixes I had, but couldn’t help adding a little something more to each. The first, a sweet and spicy cornbread made with Jiffy Cornbread mix plus half a minced jalepeno and a few big glugs of local orange blossom honey. And the second, cheddar and chive biscuits made from Tastefully Simple’s Perfect Parmesan Biscuit Mix, subbing cheddar for parmesan and adding some fresh chives. My mom brought chips and guac and a salad to round out our dinner.

The grand finale was Goat Cheese Ice Cream and Blueberry Sauce from David Lebowitz’s The Perfect Scoop. Jenny was kind enough to let me borrow her ice cream maker and this was our third attempt with ice cream making.

Goat Cheese Ice Cream with Warm Blueberry Sauce

My first attempt was a vanilla gelato that turned out tasting like snow ice cream. Are you familiar with snow ice cream or did we make this up? Growing up in Chardon meant a LOT of snow without a lot of snow days. The snow plows were just too used to it, so unless the timing was just right, we always had school. So to make the most of the snow we would mix it with milk, sugar and vanilla in a big bowl and eat it like a giant ice cream sundae. Until one time we made it too late in the season and Becky found a slug on her spoon. No one really ever had a craving for snow ice cream again after that. So the first attempt at gelato making was ok, but didn’t conjure the sweetest of memories.

Chris took a turn with the machine making rosemary and honey ice cream that came out with a soft serve consistency and a fantastic flavor. It was very sweet and the rosemary and honey were a lovely pairing. But Chris also decided to put little flakes of the chopped rosemary in the ice cream which I didn’t like and did my best to eat around.

The third time was a charm. Under David’s tutelage the goat cheese ice cream turned out beautifully and topped with the warm blueberry sauce tasted like a warm creamy cheese cake. I can’t wait to try more of his recipes.

Part III. Learning to cook with Eggs

Each batch of ice cream made with a custard base calls for 6 egg yolks. This leaves you with an abundance of egg whites. My first batch of custard for the goat cheese ice cream turned into a icky scrambled eggs mess due to many rookie mistakes I made: 1. used skim milk, 2. forgot to add the sugar, 3. did not temper the yolks properly, 4. let the mixture boil. Fail, fail, fail, fail.

I took my time the second time, following David’s instructions as closely as possible. I remembered to use whole milk and sugar, I tempered the yolks by ladling some of the steamy milk into the yolks very slowly, whisking the whole time, and I used a candy thermometer just to be sure I wasn’t coming close to a boil. Sometimes cooking reminds me of chemistry class (which I secretly loved). The results were perfect; a smooth custard. While the custard was still warm I strained it over the crumbled goat cheese and stirred until it was nice and smooth. Custard success!

On Sunday afternoon I met up with my S-3 work girlfriends for lunch and to see the movie Valentine’s Day. That movie has the cutest cast and worst script of all time. It was long and weird and hard to follow. But it was great to catch up with my friends. We also celebrated Jenny and Morgan’s birthdays and since I am always looking for an excuse to make cake, I volunteered to supply. My two batches of custard making left me with no eggs and 12 egg whites in the fridge. So I really only had one option – angel food cake – which is one of my favorites. I like Ina’s version, called Black and White cake, with a semi-sweet chocolate glaze drizzled over top. In fact, it is the very cake I made for my own birthday last year.

Black and White Cake

More fun with eggs, this time whipping the whites into a foam with high peaks. Last year I made rookie mistakes with this cake and it took me literally 45 minutes of holding my hand mixer over the bowl before the eggs were the right consistency. Not this time. The trick is to make sure the eggs are very fresh and at room temperature. Check and check – eggs from the farmers market and I let them sit out on the counter for an hour before I attempted the whipping. They were forming peaks within a few minutes. I may have even gone too far because when I went to fold in the flour, the eggs were almost the consistency of marshmallow and the flour wasn’t mixing in well. But it came together and baked up like a dream. A glorious chocolately dream.

And we all sang happy birthday and ate cake and lived happily ever after.

The End.
(for now)

Mystic Weekend

On Saturday night, Rachael had the girlfriends over to celebrate her birthday.   In total Rachael style, the birthday party was also a Pure Romance party and she had a tarot card reader upstairs reading fortunes.  I was reluctant to participate at first, but a few glasses of wine and some gf coaxing and I was totally into it.  I don't put complete faith in fortunes or horoscopes, but there seems to be a nugget of truth in them.  Well, truth or selective hearing.  All in good fun though.  I am a total newbie to tarot, so forgive me if I get any of this wrong, but here is what I learned: 

There are 16 difference personality types and I found out that I am a Queen of Cups.  Most of the girls at the party were also Queen of Cups because they tend to gravitate to each other.  Here is a personality description from learntarot.com: 

Loving. Tenderhearted. Intuitive. Psychic. Spiritual.  The personality of the Queen of Cups combines the positive water energy of the Cups suit with the inward focus of a Queen. Because she has a sweet, loving and sensitive nature, the Queen of Cups has a kind word for everyone and never reacts with anger or impatience. There is a gentleness about her that soothes and calms. Compassion is her watchword. Her reactions to the world are guided by her feelings. In all matters, she lets her heart lead the way. She senses emotional currents and knows what others are experiencing without having to ask. She is never moody, but understands moods and their influence. She trusts her intuition and so is more open to knowledge that comes from within herself and beyond. She is often moved by the beauty and tragedy of life. The Queen of Cups feels deeply and has a reverence for all aspects of God's creation. Her love includes and embraces everyone and everything. 

I definitely consider myself a feeler as opposed to a thinker, but the part about not being moody is way off.  The reader also told me that Queens of Cups are old souls, social butterflies, have deja vu, and are best matched with a King of Wands.  She described the King of Wands as hard-working gentlemen, which Chris definitely is. 

She asked me to think of some questions for her.  I asked about my love life, my future career, and whether she saw me moving anywhere.  And in the cards she saw.... 

I am with the right man, but she does not see marriage in the near future.  If I move, it will not make me happy.  I got the higher education card, but it won't be for a few years.  I am well liked and respected at work and will be successful in what I do.  Money will not be an issue and the Wheel of Fortune card came up, so in four months I should consider gambling because I could win some money.  The Tower Card was reversed (I think) meaning that my worst fears won't be realized (not sure what those even are).  I should pray more because my prayers will be answered.  And the kicker card was the Empress.  Basically she told me that I need to be very careful if I don't want to have a baby and I may even be pregnant now.  It doesn't necessarily mean I will have a lot of children, but it does mean I am very fertile.  And to drive that home, the only other girl at the party who got that card already has 3 kids, gulp.